23 January

Flash forward to over a year later.

I'm sitting in the bush, aka the jungle, and it is so lush.

Just sitting here typing I can hear three different types of birds chirping away. It's humid enough to feel your skin becoming sticky and your oily hair mat against your face. But there is a slight breeze that feels cool and refreshing despite the constant “ I want to shower” sensation. The rain comes and goes and there's this soft pitter patter of it hitting all the leaves. It is SO GREEN.

It's absolutely beautiful. But the mozzies are the worst! I get new bites every day. I'm going to be moving to the other side of Nimbin in a few days. I'm a bit North of town and I'll be moving just outside of town to an area that is more farm like, more grass, less bugs (I hope), and it'll be a bit hotter.

I still haven't found a job, a month after starting to look for one. It's been hard. I've had two random shifts at a cafe doing dishes. A part of me thinks maybe I should give up looking for a job and just travel until I run out of money. But what I really like about being in Nimbin is getting to know the people here. The friends I've met welcomed me from the start and included me, not because I was so and so's friend, but because why wouldn't they? Today I was in town and went into the information centre to ask a question and the woman asked me “Are you Anisha? I'm Stone's step-mom.” I don't think we ever got introduced, but we have been circling around the same people over the holidays and she was open about knowing who I was and not abashed by it. I love that!! I really dislike when people pretend not to know your name or shy away from remembering when they met you.

A few days ago I was at the Amphi and Quinn asked me “What are your passions?” I quickly came to realise (which I've known, but haven't quite formulated in a clear and concise way), I don't have a passion. I don't have anything that I'm really passionate. I have things I enjoy, but I don't even know if I have a hobby.

I really love doing yoga. But I can't say it's a passion in the sense that I need to share it with others. I love reading, but again, it's not something I share with others.

Over the last two years I come to realise that I want to talk to people. I like educating others, teaching them, and listening to them. But I don't know what I want to teach them to do or what to communicate. I enjoy making connections for others, weather it's business or personal.

The other day I was talking to Zeem (sp?), about the 16 types of personalities and how my personality type (ESFJ) is the most common personality type, but in one of my groups of friends, I'm the only ESFJ and there are four or five people who are the least common personality types. And how perhaps I'm a bridge, I can bridge between this more esoteric, introversion, the feelings, to the more concrete, logic, and extroverted types of personalities. And it's true, I do bounce between two different types of worlds. I am super efficient and work very well in logical, scheduled, and clear cut rule environments. But I also need and love being in the more relaxed, grey areas, kind of sloppy environments.

Maybe there's something in that. Hopefully I'm being guided towards an answer and all I have to do is be open to it.